- If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
- Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
- Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!
- Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
- Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
- The morning after you and a girl who was formerly " just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.