- Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
- It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss's car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.
- Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
- You must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
- If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
- Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
- No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
- On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
- When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.