• Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

  • It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
    1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
    2. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
    3. After wrecking your boss's car.
    4. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
    5. When she is using her teeth.

  • Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

  • You must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

  • If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

  • Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

  • No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

  • On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

  • When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

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